I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
