So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
