So drunk its hurt
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
