Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
