just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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