haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
