ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
