You're my little dorito
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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