I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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