the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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