Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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