Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
