his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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