it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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