My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
