I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
