Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
