I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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