He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
