I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I am naked and annoyed.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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