Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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