why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
