At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
