You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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