Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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