How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
