he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
