HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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