Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I have tasted many bathrooms
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
