We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
