youre lurking in front of me
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
