Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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