its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
