I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
