Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
