chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
