im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
