that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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