your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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