Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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