hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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