$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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