Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
