Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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