you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
