; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
