I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
