Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
