Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
