Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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