just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
